Even though I have been blogging every week with the fabulous interviews of fellow Artists and Crafts people. I haven't really updated you as to my situation for a while.
Since giving up my studio in December and loosing my Dad in January I have been a little bit unfocused. I went from being very busy teaching and travelling to visit my Dad, to being completely on my own with nothing to do. It great in so many ways, I am enjoying the freedom, the first time in years I haven't had to work weekends and Bank Holidays which is bliss, and I now have time to spend with my lovely Husband and great children. We also have a happy occasion coming up as my youngest daughter is getting married in July. so all is good in so many ways. But things aren't quite right with my painting and in my studio ( spare bedroom). As far as painting goes I have been rather unmotivated and uninspired. Someone described me recently as boat without a rudder and I think it sums me up brilliantly.
As you can see my workspace is cosy. I am happy in it but I am slightly held back by the need not to splash paint around. The carpet is old and worn anyway and walls can be painted over, so its daft really that I should worry about it.
The office side of it is great and I am happy with the amount of storage I have, but I do need to find a way to be more comfortable with dripping paint and splashing it about.
Its not stopped me actually painting, but I haven't done much and I am back to being quite controlled with it, which is something I don't want to be. I have spend the last few years trying to loosen up and it would be a shame to not continue that.
Apart from the 3 paintings here then I have also done a pet portrait that I am really pleased with, but I can't show you just yet, as its a surprise for a birthday coming up soon.
Although I am pleased with them generally they don't quite do it for me! I know it sounds very arty farty but I want to let myself go. I am not sure if I am holding back as I am still keeping my emotions in check or if it really is the space that is causing problems.
I nearly got a new studio last week, there was a outbuilding in a old school, that came up recently, I could have afforded it, but it had problems with water and the owners didn't seem that interested in putting it right for me. They didn't come back to me when I said I would only take it, if the door was fixed and water was running, so I guess they couldn't sort it. But in retrospect it was not the right place for me.
We have also thought about putting a garden office in, apart from the expense, and the hassle of installing it, I am not convinced it would have any less distractions than being in the house.
There is of course no hurry to find a solution, I can, when the mood takes me paint anytime, I really do want to make it work hereas I am generally enjoying being here but it is bugging me I can't quite get back on track.
We have a free weekend this week so I am hoping to grab Mr WD and see if we cant find a better solution for me in the room I am in? I suppose its just trial and error and a solution, no doubt will be found, I just hope its soon x
Please pop back on Monday when I will have another interesting ( I hope) interview for you. I am just off to start drafting it up now.
So see you later
Janice x
Have you thought of putting a curtain across between your office space and your painty space so you can splash about without worrying about the 'puter and paperwork. I know it sounds crazy but have a splatter session on the walls. The curtain can be pulled back when you are not painting.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you'd pay in rent, put away each week and save for a garden studio big enough to hold small classes in.
It sounds easy but it's not. It takes a while to get over a loss, I still have bad moments and struggle. I lost my mum 18 months ago.
Thanks so much for your comment. The pictures don't really give you an idea of how small the space is and so a curtain would be very difficult and make the room very dark, but would be a great idea if the space was a bit bigger and if I move junto another I will bear that in mind
DeleteWe all go through periods when the motivation and inspiration vanish - sometimes worrying about it too much makes it worse, so just be patient, take the pressure off yourself and it will return. I'm sorry for your recent loss - I lost my Dad many years ago but can still remember very well how I felt, it was like losing my 'rock', I too felt rudderless but it does get better, so give yourself the space and time to grieve.
ReplyDeleteOn a practical note, I would never be able to let go and splash paint around in a room with carpet on the floor (however old) and a computer or paperwork nearby. I would take up the carpet and replace it with some cheap vinyl flooring, then put the 'office' inside a wardrobe or cupboard, or use a folding screen to hide it away while I was painting. I do all my messy work in the garage, but a garden shed or summerhouse would work just as well.
I discovered that a garden room/shed is such a totally different place, that it is really liberating - altho the cold in the winter can be too much for any creativity. Good to have that space as yours, especially as it does not feel like a domestic space......go for it!!
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, losing someone close takes an awful lot out of anyone - and it is difficult to explain the extarodinary way it mashes one's brains...part of the creative bit of you may work, but really you need to re-charge yourself gently - enjoy times out, don't make demands of yourself....it takes months and months to get past the impact of the stress of knowing your loved one is dying, then coping with the death, and the odd way bereavement takes it out of you. So, don't feel you are failing - you'll get there again in a while. Lots of us have been there, and it affects people in different ways - but can take a year or two before you find yourself feeling really bouncy and your old creative self again.